It's the first time I haven't posted for so many days in a row. Perhaps I know what's wrong.Although I write this blog mainly for my own pleasure and self-discovery, it turns out to be exceedingly important to get feedback. Those people who just read blogs and don't comment should know that any comment is appreciated: you don't need to be impressive. It's just that when I reach out, I need to know that I have touched. And as a former teacher I'm used to say that there are no stupid questions -- which is, of course, a stupid statement, but I promise that whatever you ask, blithering idiocy or biting insight, I will not only be gentle, I will be grateful.
When I wrote my previous post (see Cocktails) I really wondered if I had done the right thing with Jake, and what to think of our situation and of Jake in general. I'm very fond of him, and I fancy him, but I don't want to ruin a friendship. Was he sending signals or was I just overanalysing his behaviour? So, I blogged about it and waited for some feedback. After three days, when it was time to submit another post, I still hadn't received any comments responding to my implicit request for counsel. During these three days I had read several other blogs. Among them was a post about the author accidentally putting a lump of sugar too many in his coffee and disliking the taste. He got 54 comments in two days. Fifty-fuckin'-four! About an accidental lump of sugar!
I couldn't finish the post I was writing: writer's block. I couldn't think of anything interesting to write. Yes, I had gone to a nude beach for the first time in my life, because I wanted a modest tan on my whole body for once. Reading a book, I forgot the time and 2.5 hours later I was sunburned from head to heels. Was this nearly as interesting as sugar and coffee? Also I hadn't had an erection for almost two weeks for reasons unknown. Would any reader care? And this week Jake said he wanted to make a replica of his hardon like the one I have (see The replica) and indicated that he'd like me to help. Was this intriguing enough?
Having nothing to write about I went through my list of 'Yet uncovered topics' that I keep on the right-hand side of my blog. Nothing there seemed interesting enough to write about. I even considered emptying the list. Then I got a comment from Unsung Psalm on my post and realised that he would call me a drama queen for feeling this way. Nevertheless I wrote this down. Interesting or not, this blog is about me and this post is about how I feel. I just never drink coffee or put sugar in my tea.
13 comments:
My dear, you're so cute lol. I've never seen a person who can write so explicit to ask for comments. Well, this is blogger's world. In order to gain more traffic, you need to link others, and you NEED to comment in other's blogs too, so that people can recognize your blog. :)
I added you in msn, but never see you online anyway. I guess you decline my request. T_T
I stared and stared at that post for so long, but I couldn't think of anything I could say. I had a bunch of stuff floating around in my head, but nothing I wanted to say. Later that night, I started thinking about your post again and wrote in my journal for 2 hours. Anytime that happens, it's a gift. Touched.
I'm not the person you wanna go to for advice, though. Except for help Jake make that replica.
I often feel the same way. The difference is that my blog is not as interesting as yours is; thus I am really surprised why you did not get comments. I did not want to comment on that post about Jake because I don't really feel that I know enough to come up with advice, and I don't want to be too negative about a person (Jake) whom I don't know...
Awwwwwwwwwww..... whatever made you think I'd call you a DQ?? Not in this context, no. And babe, you're no DQ!!
As for not commenting, I do try, I really do! And I think I make it a point to leave a comment.
But one of the reasons that I realise I've developed this latency about reading your posts is because once upon a time, they used to be pages long and I kept on procrastinating reading them. Nowdays, they're nice and crisp but I still somehow have those notions in the back of my head, and postpone reading them. And before I know it, there are 4 posts from your blog waiting to be read. But they all must be read, because I LOVE reading your blog!
But I'm going to make an effort in the future not to be lethargic about it!
Jackie, fear not. At the end of every post you write henceforth, just add a small reminder...
"Comment Bitches!"
We'll be sure to ;)
And yes, I understand the vitality of feedback. It's very encouraging!
I refrained from commenting simply because I had to catch up and didn't want to comment on really old posts (although I did once). Now that I'm all caught up I can comment more. I think a lot of people can't keep up with the amount you post and for those that encounter your blog much later after you've started it, it becomes a bit difficult. But I like that you are so prolific, it makes for more interesting reads. BLOG ON!
I've gotten into a habit of reading a few blogs every day. I think most of us do a little mental categorization of blogs .. the funny, bitchy ones, the sexual ones, the drama queen ones, the mundane I-ate-2-slices-of-bread-with-jam-last-night ones. You come across as a mature, intelligent person and maybe people think twice before giving you advice about something. That .. and it doesn't take much effort to comment about something as casual as too much sugar in tea as opposed to something more heavy like relationship advice.
Well, on one of your last posts about Jake waiting for you to initiate and you didn't, that was kinda annoying. You both want it, so have it. You know you want to. ;)
I do understand the feeling. I mean who among us that writes a journal and posts it for the world to see DOESN'T want feedback (no matter what they say)? And not getting it, especially when it is something you need advice on or something you've poured your soul into, is completely gutting.
I don't get why some people have an insane traffic flow and commentary and others have virtually none...it is maddening. All I can tell you, after 9 years of doing this in one form or another, is to start by doing it for yourself only, nurture and develop the readers you have by commenting on their blogs and keeping up communication and finally TRUST that whether you see evidence or not - you are touching someone even in the smallest of ways.
Keep up the good work!
BTW, I think I know who that lump of sugar author is. I stopped reading his blog a while ago. Not because I don't like what he writes, but because he doesn't post anything about sex. lol
*borg
Lolzzz!
Thanks, guys!
Freedom,
It was quite explicit, yes. You are right, I could comment a bit more myself althought I already write more comments than I receive.
I haven't been online with that MSN accound for almost two months. Of course I'll accept you. In fact, I already did. ;)
Ryan,
Same happens with me when I read a good post. Often I can't think of something to say. Let me decide for myself whom I go to for advice!
Vlad,
On the anniversary of Thumper's first appearance on the big screen, Sam is going to take me to the Bunny Show. Somehow I feel these events are unrelated.
Maybe you and I could have a drink together there and then?
UnsungPsalm,
Thanks, you are indeed one of my most faithful readers and commenters. When I did my "Long ago" series I had too much to tell and my post got very long. After that series I didn't go back to normal length, but now I have.
Wishswudhavwings,
Thanks, and by the way, I read comments on old posts too. I will keep blogging.
Rakesh,
I might be intelligent and mature, in matters of love I'm stupid and insecure. I think I miss all obvious signals...
Borg_Queen,
So you did like sentences like "So I fucked him for almost and hour, changing through at least eight positions without repenetration, varying from tenderly French kissing him while giving him goose bumps with my hands and very slowly making long strokes, to forcefully ramming my cock into him while he was lying on his back; my right hand around his cock, my left hand tightly holding both his wrists, and my tongue licking the sensitive nipples between his gorgeously trimmed chest hair" like I did in some previous posts? I hope you'll like my next post then.
J. C.-S.
Thanks for writing this encouraging comment even though your thoughts must be with Kiawah a lot. That post of you was really beautiful!
Jack,
would you like to be a little bit more specific about it? You probably know my e-mail address (and if not, you can easily find it in my profile).
You have a nice blog Jack, and you always make your stories sound interesting.
People are always wary about handing out advice to people who are obviously smart, lest they sound dumb.
That said, I do understand your sentiment - it is important to get feedback or to just know that someone out there is reading your post.
Why worry about the odd post that goes uncommented? You have far more posts that have sparked healthy discussion.
Do post the other stories too, we would like to read them! (although, I can't promise I'd comment on them - I just read the post and if I feel there is something of value that I can add to it, then I comment, else not.)
:)
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