Nuts

Two weeks ago on a gay personals site I got into contact with a 28-year-old half-Greek, half-Turkish guy from Istanbul. I thought he was quite hot. He would visit my city as a tourist for four days and he wanted to meet up with me on his first evening here. While sending messages back and forth the following plan arose: He would arrive on Wednesday evening and I would pick him up from his hotel two hours later. We would go to my place, take magic mushrooms, enjoy the trip, and if we liked each other he'd bottom for me afterwards and I'd bring him back to his hotel -- all his ideas. I thought his guy had a lot of guts: coming to a foreign city, going to a stranger's home, and taking drugs he prepared for you.

I picked him up and took him to my apartment where after some small talk I warned him once again that the effect of mushrooms was much more intense than the effects that he had experienced when taking marihuana, which was the only drug he had ever used. I explained what he was about to experience, how to avoid a bad trip, and that we should turn our phones off for the next six hours.

We took the mushrooms and we enjoyed the trip very much, although at first he said, "I think we took too much; is it normal that I feel so strange?" After half an hour he told me he felt very happy. He played with my doors, enjoyed looking at me, and at some point I stood behind him with my arms under his shirt, kissing him in the neck. He seemed to enjoy that. He looked very beautiful to me, so I told him that and he was flattered. We sat on the sofa and some mixed Japanese munchies that were on the table. He took one of the irregularly coated nuts and told me it was his pet fish. I knew he was hallucinating, and the thought crossed my mind to grab the nut from his hand and eat it, but I realised that in his hallucination it would be upsetting. I did take another one from the table, accidentally touched his arm, and the peanut fell out of the coating. He panicked, "The food of my fish has fallen and I cannot find it. I gotta feed my fish or it'll die." I comforted him and told him the fish was an hallucination, after which he carefully ate the coating.

I went to the bedroom to enjoy lying down in the dark and he followed me. He walked around the bed and then simply smiled at me naughtily. Then suddenly he wanted to go back to his hotel. It confused me: I knew it was a bad idea for him to travel in a strange city while still tripping on mushrooms, but on the other hand, I had no right to deny him the right to leave. I asked him why he wanted to go back, but he didn't know. He 'just' needed to get back. I was stalling for time, putting on my shoes and socks extremely slowly, hoping he change his mind. He didn't. In fact, he was texting people on his phone, and continued even after my reminder that this could be imprudent. We had to hurry to get him on the last regular bus and so we left, halfway through the trip.

Outside he said he was afraid to be in the streets, but when I told him it was a safe neighbourhood he seemed to be more at ease. He was obviously still tripping -- as was I -- so I offered to deliver him to his hotel, although I didn't know if that was a normal gesture and I couldn't get back home easily. He refused the offer and got on the bus alone after I made him repeat his destination stop three times.

Walking back home I was afraid I had done a terrible thing. I was not sure the guy would find his hotel at all, and so I texted him.

[12:18 a.m.] Jackdaw: Are you okay?

[12:21 a.m.] Turk: I guess so. Just want to sleep and stop this. Found the hotel. In the room now.

[12:22 a.m.] Jackdaw: Good! In 2.5 hours everything will be normal. Think happy thoughts!


I don't understand what happened. He had said he was having a great time until suddenly he insisted on going back to his hotel. After that he never again responded to anything I sent him, although I got confirmations he opened both messages I sent.