On the Monday after Easter, Matthew, Joey and I went shopping. I still owe Matthew two presents: a DVD box and something to decorate his home. We couldn't find anything nice enough though. In the car, I told them about the Brazilian hunk I had met (see Goldfinger) and I mentioned that we would meet again that evening. I showed them his picture but they were not too excited. Then Joey warned me that he knew several Brazilians who live with one guy, but who have many boyfriends on the side. Matthew added that if suddenly my television and other electronic equipment were gone, I shouldn't come crying to him. Very sensitive of him!Joey is extremely curious, and he asked me to introduce Joe to the two of them. I said it would be kind of weird on the fourth date. After shopping we went to my house and played a board game, and Joey kept stalling for time, hoping to meet Joe. I sent Joe a text message, asking him to text me when he left home; I wanted to have time to kick Matthew and Joey before Joe arrived. After some more rounds of games and a lot of fun, Matthew told Joey they should go home and make dinner. Joey reluctantly agreed and went to the bathroom before they left.
I looked out of the window and saw Joe arriving on his moped. He had 'forgotten' to text me. Maybe he wanted to see what was the reason for my request. When Matthew asked me if that was Joe, I confirmed. Then Matthew said, "Don't tell Joey, he'll go crazy." I went downstairs with them and as they walked to their car, I beckoned Joe to go to the bicycle room. Matthew and Joey did get a good look at him, but fortunately they didn't meet inside my home.
I made Joe a nice and healthy dinner and we talked a bit on the sofa. Then I got a text message from Joey. He wrote that he knew Joe and proved it by describing a specific though insignificant feature of his torso. I called Joey and asked where he knew Joe from. "I've had a date with him," Joey said. If that was true Joe had lied to me about a lot of things. I thanked Joey for the information and went back to the living room to kick Joe out. However, I had clumsily pushed the wrong button and hadn't hung up on Joey altogether. He yelled, "Jack! Jack! Jack! I was joking, Jack! I have searched for Joe's Facebook profile and found a picture of him with a bare chest." I was not amused, and that's putting it gently.
Nevertheless, I started to worry: maybe I was indeed being a fool. Joe might be interested in me for reasons other than the ones I would want. He had seen my apartment and probably thought I was loaded: guys who visit usually do. Unfortunately, I'm not. I did a short review of the situation.
Joe was temporarily living in a room where he was very uncomfortable. Moving in with me would be a big step forward for him. It is obvious that I have a much better income than he, so that's another reason for him to make a play for me. He said he may be in some serious financial trouble -- probably because someone used him in a scam. Finally, he may be after citizenship in my country, something marriage with me would bring him.
Think, Jack, think! He's much too hot to hang out with a guy like you, and you know it. You're about to make a very big mistake. Take action before you fall in love!
6 comments:
I've said it before and I'll say it again .. you need a bit of distance from Matthew and Joey. As for Joe .. if it feels right, enjoy it. Why ruin it with all the negative thoughts? Cross that bridge when you come to it.
Jack,
I'd play the exact opposite game, which is to err on the side of caution.
My own experience with one definitely crazy guy tells me not to rush into things. You have your entire lifetime to fall in love with your Brazilian if its meant to be. Why rush it?
I rushed with my ex and ignored the red flags - and while I'm safe, things could have been much worse.
If you're in it just for the sex, then don't invest emotionally into it and then enjoy the moment. If you're attaching meaning to it, then realize that there's a possibility that you might get burned. And live with it.
I am in a similar position as you are - out in the dating world. One thing that I am asking myself is this: What kind of guy do I deserve, based on who I am? If my gut feeling with my date does not fit that description, it's unlikely that it is going to last.
Understand that I am not writing this to judge your situation - I don't know the details and therefore cannot comment adequately. I do however think that it might be worthwhile to share some of my experiences/ thoughts.
I think you are well aware of this though, and I hope you can detach yourself from the situation to get enough perspective to understand what may be going on between you and your date.
Jack, I've always thought you are marriage material. You're already what in the States we call grown-ass and awesome. You've never spoke about a close future event (academic pursuit, career change, etc) that's gonna change your core being. Therefor it's a good bet you're gonna be awesome for awhile. Joe sounds like he has quite a few free radicals in his life, so why wouldn't he want romantic rock You? Fuck, I wanna hang at your house, and watch movies, and have you make me healthy suppers. I don't wanna play with your arse. But I am with Orange on this one. Go slow. It's like foreplay.
That's the thing with iPhones, by the way. There kind of are no buttons.
"Matthew added that if suddenly my television and other electronic equipment were gone, I shouldn't come crying to him. Very sensitive of him!"
Jealous?
"He had seen my apartment and probably thought I was loaded: guys who visit usually do."
Yep. Its fabulous apart from your burny sofa, staring curtains and cigarette rug :P
"Take action before you fall in love!"
remember these words please
The only way for Joey to find him on facebook is if you told him his full name. Did you?
Rakesh,
You are right, and I'm actually listening to your advice: I see them less often nowadays. But, it's hard because I'm such close friends with Matthew.
Sam,
Jealous... yes maybe. Joey later told me that he thought Joe was more attractive than he was... Matthew kind of disagreed with that. What else could he say!?
Orange,
Rushing sounds like a bad thing indeed, and there should never me a need to do so.
You can judge my situation any time. I will understand that it's based on the information that I gave you, and your opinion is very much appreciated! Anytime.
Borg Queen,
Joey only knew Joe's first name, his age, and the city he lives in. And of course he had seen him in real life. So, what Joey did was go through all the pictures on facebook that matched these details until he found Joe's picture. It took him between two and three hours... Yes, Joey is a bit of a creep whem it comes to finding out things that other people call 'private'.
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